All these tears

To be honest

i cry way too much.

But hey!

Have you seen this world?

Have you looked around lately?

with eyes wide open…

How would i not cry?

 

My tears used to be just that,

years ago, tears were always there, being what they are.

Pretty often, but still normal.

 

Then they turned into saltwater,

whatever i can get, i would say…

since i can’t go by the ocean,

these tears would have to do.

Crying became a need.

 

Now they taste like home,

my country, my city,

that mountain that surrounded all the memories made,

that ocean that healed me so well,

that house with my mother, my father, my brother,

they feel like the hands of my grandmothers on my cheeks.

 

Every day, more and more, these tears taste like

Venezuela.

friendly advice to me / Un consejo amistoso para mí…

Hey! 🙂 Rose here…

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the future, my future. Not like I used to, with hope, expectation and excitement, a little nervous but always hopeful, now it’s all blurry, scary, uncertain, I still have many dreams and goals but they seem far away, almost unreachable. That is sad and makes me angry… I don’t want to think or feel this way and I know I don’t have to. There’s hope for me and my dreams. My life and my future are in God’s good hands. It’s the decision-making process that scares me the most, what if I mess up and make the wrong decisions or go the wrong way? All I want to do is God’s will for my life… So, despite my feelings, fears and insecurities I’ll keep walking and trusting Him. He watches over me and He’ll keep me on the right path and I… I’ll try to figure it out as I go along that path.

“We all live and learn as we go, the hard part is figuring out what’s worth holding on to, and what is better off left behind.” – Anonymous

-Rose…

Till next week friends… 🙂

——————————————————————————–

¡Hola! ¡Yo otra vez…! 🙂

He estado pensando mucho en mi futuro últimamente, pero no como antes: llena de esperanza, expectativas, emocionada, un poco nerviosa pero siempre esperanzada, no, ahora todo está borroso, da miedo y es incierto; aún tengo muchos sueños y metas pero ahora se ven demasiado distantes, prácticamente inalcanzables. Todo esto me pone triste y me molesta porque no me gusta sentirme o pensar así, no tengo razón alguna para hacerlo. Porque mis sueños, metas y en general mi vida no está puesta en las circunstancias, sino en Dios, en sus buenas manos, sin embargo la toma de decisiones me asusta, ¿y si meto la pata o voy por el camino incorrecto? Lo único que quiero hacer en mi vida es la voluntad de Dios… así que para lograrlo lo que tengo que hacer es, a pesar de mis sentimientos, miedos e inseguridades, es seguir andando y confiando el Él. ÉL tiene cuidado de mi, mi vida y mis sueños, Él me mantendrá en el camino correcto y yo… en lo que vaya yendo (por ese camino) iré viendo como se desenvuelven los acontecimientos y descubriendo lo que Dios tiene para mí.

“Todos vivimos y aprendemos en nuestro andar, la parte complicada es darnos cuenta que vale la pena mantener y de que cosas deshacernos y dejar atrás.” -Anónimo. (Traducción libre)

-Rose…

 

Hasta la próxima semana.

You leave me waiting… // Tú me dejas esperando…

I hate how you make me feel

how in just one second

you leave me waiting.

I lose my confidence,

my head, my patience,

you take your time

and drive me crazy…

I want you now, to tell me now…

5 minutes & still not a word

give me a break

this torture goes too slow

you look my direction

but take a while to make a move

you leave me waiting,

3 steps, then 2…

you come closer, you leave me waiting

I lose my cool, my nerve

& my temper

I get angry at you but it’s not really

you what makes me angry

It’s the fact that everything goes slow-motion

when you enter the room

It makes me mad

how you control time

(how it’s only been 10 mins

but it feels

like 10 years have passed)

and the beat of my heart

all at the same time.

It’s not that much…

                          why I get so desperate?

It’s the urgency I feel

                         when it’s you I’m waiting for.

 

-Rose.

 

y en español…lo siento, pero como dije antes…la mayoría de los “poemas” que escriba los dejaré en el idioma en el que lo haya escrito originalmente… 😉

 

Positive and Awesome… // Positivos y Geniales…

Yesterday was the first day in the year that I wasn’t able to post in my blog… Thankfully I got to write the post just that I didn’t have time to translate it, correct it and post it… How do I feel about it?

I don’t feel “bad”. Because the idea of having the blog and posting everyday is more getting to WRITE everyday more than just “posting” every day for everyone to see or read. Since I was able to write the post but not posting it… I feel o.k. about it.

On the other hand I do feel a little “disappointed” on myself because I wanted to be able to post (write, translate and make public) my writings every day and it’s not even March and I’ve already “failed” one day… That’s scares me because it makes me think that I’m going to keep failing, makes me think that I may not be able to fulfill my “2014 goal”…

Then I remember than failing is the way to success and I feel calmed again. Besides my Italian homework was priority in that moment…I had to take “my blog’s time” to use it for something more important (and it involved writing (in Italian! Which involves a lot of effort for me) so It’s not like I was sleeping or watching TV, wasting my time right? 😉

When I think about all the people that have told me that they read my blog, even if they only read one post one day, it means a lot to me, because I never had that before.

I would always write, whenever I felt like writing and had the time to do it, everything on my “private” notebook and I would think “well, this is very stupid but I had to let it out of my system…” or “well, this is just a bunch of non-senses…” or maybe, in the best of cases “well, this is not that bad…maybe I should show it to someone…” and only then it would end up being “public” for a very specific and limited group of people… Now, I force myself to write, whether I feel like it or not, I force myself to organize my time to make space for my “writing” time, I force myself to write everything in English and Spanish (practicing my professional career) and I force myself to let EVERYONE, with internet access, read my stuff, my non-senses…

Now, doing all that “forcing myself to…” I’ve gotten so many people coming to me to say… “Hey! I didn’t leave a comment but I read your blog the other day!” “Hey! I read you’re writing a blog! That’s great!” or maybe “Hey! I read your blog! I think it’s very interesting what said! Keep doing that!”…Everyone has been very supportive and encouraging telling me to keep doing it, telling me is a very good idea and that they are proud of me for doing what I’m doing… As silly as it may be…It makes me happy!

So, to all of you, who take the time to read my blog, or at least support me with the idea of me having a blog, leave me comments (even BETTER) and talk to me about it (you can also tell me “bad” things about it, as long as they’re constructive comments jajaja), THANK YOU SO MUCH! 😀

-Rose

____________________________________________________________________

Ayer (jueves) fue el primer día del año que no pude publicar en mi blog… Gracias a Dios si pude escribir la publicación sólo que no me dio tiempo de traducirla, corregirla y publicarla… ¿Cómo me hace sentir esto?

No me siento “mal” porque la idea de tener un blog este año y publicar todos los días es más ponerme a ESCRIBIR que simplemente “publicar” algo cada día sólo por publicar para que los demás vean o lean y como si pude escribir el post aunque no lo publicara… Me siento normalita, no me afecta tanto.

Por otro lado, me siento un poquito “decepcionada” de mi misma porque de verdad quería ser capaz de publicar (escribir, traducir y hacerlo público) mis escritos todos los días y ni siquiera estamos en Marzo y ya fallé con ese objetivo, aunque haya sido sólo por un día. Pensar eso me asusta porque a la vez me hace pensar que tal vez siga fallando, me hace dudar de si podré cumplir con este “Objetivo del 2014”…

Luego recuerdo que fallar es el único camino al éxito y eso me calma otra vez, a parte mi tarea de Italiano era prioridad en el momento, tuve que tomar el tiempo que normalmente “aparto” para el blog y dedicárselo a algo que era más importante (que además requería que me pusiera a ESCRIBIR (y ¡en Italiano! Lo que me exige un esfuerzo mayor) así que no fue como que no publique por estar viendo televisión, porque me quedé dormida  o por estar perdiendo mi tiempo, ¿no? ) 😉

A la vez pienso en todas las personas que se han acercado a mí para decirme que hay leído mi blog, aunque haya sido un solo post un día de esos, significa muchísimo para mí porque antes no tenía eso. En el pasado, por lo general, sólo escribía cuando me sentía con ganas de hacerlo, me sentía “inspirada” o tenía tiempo para ello; además todo lo que escribía permanecía oculto en alguno de mis cuadernos “privados” y después de terminar pensaba “bueno, esto es muy tonto, pero tenía que sacarlo de mi sistema…” a veces “bueno, esto es un poco de garabatos sin sentido…” o en el mejor de los casos “bueno, este no me quedó tan mal, tal vez debería mostrárselo a alguien…” y así algunos escritos terminaban convirtiéndose en “públicos” pero sólo para un grupo específico y limitado de personas… Ahora, con el blog, me obligo a mi misma a escribir todos los días, me sienta inspirada o no; me obligo a organizar mi tiempo para apartar el espacio para “escribir”; me obligo a mi misma a escribir todo tanto en inglés como en español (lo que a la vez me ayuda con el practicar de mi profesión); y me obligo a dejar que TODOS, cualquier persona con acceso a internet, pueda leer lo que escribo, mis tonterías…

Ahora con ese “obligarme” a hacer todas esas cosas tengo personas que se me acercan y me dicen “¡Hey, no te dejé un comentario pero leí tu blog el otro día…!”, “¡Hey, leí por ahí que estas escribiendo un blog! ¡Qué fino!”, o algo como “¡Hey estoy leyendo tu blog! ¡me parece muy interesante lo que escribes!…¡síguelo haciendo!”… Todos han sido tan positivos, me han dado tanto apoyo y ánimo diciéndome que continúe con el blog, diciéndome que es una muy buena idea y que admiran mucho lo que estoy haciendo… ¡Wuao! Por muy tonto que suene ¡Me hace feliz!

Así que para todos ustedes, que se toman el tiempo para leer mi blog o al menos me apoyan con la idea de que tenga mi blog, me dejan comentarios (¡aún mucho MEJOR!) o se me acercan para hablarme sobre mi proyecto (también pueden decirme cosas “malas” que tenga el blog, todo mientras sean comentarios constructivos jejeje), MUCHAS GRACIAS A TODOS USTEDES. 😀

-Rose

Maybe tomorrow, Maybe now!

Is a rush inside

up and down and then again so high…

and you just can’t stop

not when you want to

just when it decides to.

that’s why people say

“to fall” that’s how it feels

like falling into a hole

and you can’t escape at all.

 

What a complicated, yet easy thing

what a magical place,

is dark and light

is sweet but kind of bitter in a while,

it hurts but you can’t live without it.

Nobody wants to suffer, 

but you always prefer to be hurt

than existing without knowing what it is…

to not know what’s going on,

to not be able to resist it,

to feel the way you do now,

when you are in love,

to keep trying until you get there,

to love and be loved in return,

all the greatness, all at once.

Fault of your shining smile

I don’t know what to do
I dont know what to think
All that’s on my mind
Is about you now
I just can’t let it go
I want to be always with you

Chorus:
But it’s so hard to be your friend
When all I’m thinking
Is how to make you notice
What I feel inside
And I just can’t focus right
It’s all fault of your shining smile

And I hate this
Cuz I’m losing my self control
And once again I just can’t let you go
And once again I’m lost in your eyes
And you are once again, making my mind go blank
I forgot my name, and all I was about to say

*Chorus:
Because it’s so hard to be your friend
When all I’m thinking
Is how to make you notice
What I feel inside
And I just can’t focus right
It’s all fault of your shining smile

I know you have something
I just can’t decode
Is a power in your smile
That got me on my toes
And makes my head spin around
You got me saying once again…

 

Chorus:
But it’s so hard to be your friend
When all I’m thinking
Is how to make you notice
What I feel inside
And I just can’t focus right
It’s all fault of your dazzling smile.

 

by: Rose.

Wrote this like 4 years ago. A friend of mine took the lyrics & added the music to it…and another friend of hers made a video for the song…If you’re interested here it’s…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKgir8RZIug

In love with a Star… (Thinking of you)

It’s hard to explain
this thing I am feeling
I should say it is crazy
that’s what they’ll say it is…

but here in my heart,
every time I think of you,
a spark starts to grow…
starts to shine, as bright as day
here, my heart feels so mild
so warm…

in this cold, cold world
you make it feel all different,
crazy, I know!
that’s what they’ll say
crazy, I know! it kind of is true…

but here in my heart,
feels so good and so right…
when I think about you I can feel
my lips giving birth to a smile
and I feel that spark of my heart
getting to my eyes…

You do everything so fine,
always with a smile…
you are so bright (as the stars)
in what you do,
wherever you go
the sparks grows & grows
in so many hearts…
You are so bright (as the stars)
you shine so beautifuly
into this world of dark (as the night)

&

Here in my heart
I won’t deny…
here in my heart…
I got to be honest,
when I feel it’s right…
they’ll say it is crazy
but in fact
it’s so normal to do
(because of who you are)
a star shining bright
in my dark night

That’s why I’ll tell you
tonight…
from here…
in my heart…
Thank you
and
I
love
you…

by: Rose.